Antagonism and prejudice is a false ideologue. It fixes nothing.

I'm the target of my dad's hostilities.  I'm not a big woman, I don't do steroids, I'm not a welfare receiving baby momma, I don't do drugs, I didn't get into the Army because I was sick.

I put myself through school, I'm not abusing the system, I'm a decent person.  I'm not rich, but being well off is obviously a threat to my parents and the boomer kleptocracy.

So I'm trying my best to control my cramps.  I ate a few bites this morning, the cramps are coming on strong and my stomach isn't what it used to be.  Even if I really wanted to, I can't engage in drama.  Especially since thuggery is legal and widespread.  I'm not feeling well, but I would be strong enough to hurt someone because they're getting older.

I didn't fight back physically.

My parents have been intolerant, conditionally accepting and basically outside of money- pretty rough.
They have always been like this.  My dad takes his prejudice of spoiled young women out on me.  The world isn't my fault, I can't change whatever triggered his inhibitions so it's really stupid to generalize to begin with.

He barked at me yesterday about a few minor things.  This is the first time he spoke to me in a few weeks.  I can tell that he tried to inflict harm on me a few times, potentially dangerous.  I said proteins make my cholesterol go up, he fed me proteins.  My parents are big enough idiots with their own health.  Entitlements and egos are all they care about.  "Arrogance" is the trendier word for stupidity.

I think my mom was sick this morning.  She eats healthier foods but screws it up with hfcs, which will keep her triglycerides elevated.  I told her this, she won't believe it until the doctors tell her.
And that's not going to happen.  Her triglycerides spiked when she was on HRT, so now after we went through over a decade of her surviving angina, she's using estrogen replacement therapy.
My dad is on steroids.  Yes moody bitch boy is a roid rager now!  He's also on diabetes medication.
And he takes niacin.   And he's doing Adkins I believe.

If he doesn't get it, he's due for heart disease.  My mom isn't doing any better.
IF not now, the summer heat plus dehydration brings a high risk of insulin spikes which is going to push up LDL.

" Exposing 3T3-L1 adipocytes to physiologically relevant doses of hyperinsulinemia (250pM–5000pM) induced a dose-dependent gain in the mRNA/protein levels of 3-hydroxy-3-methyl-glutaryl-coenzyme A reductase (HMGR). These elevations were associated with elevated plasma membrane cholesterol. Mechanistically, hyperinsulinemia increased glucose flux through the HBP and O-linked β-N-acetylglucosamine (O-GlcNAc) modification of specificity protein 1 (Sp1), known to activate cholesterolgenic gene products such as the sterol response element-binding protein (SREBP1) and HMGR. Chromatin immunoprecipitation demonstrated that increased O-GlcNAc modification of Sp1 resulted in a higher binding affinity of Sp1 to the promoter regions of SREBP1 and HMGR. "http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3589672/

I can hear the boomers now,

"I paid my entire life into the medicare system, the doctors will take care of me".  

They both haven't been taking their Xanax.

Reality Check - Racism thrives in the U.S. courtesy of rampant vile discrimination for the benefits of white privelege

Yesterday my memories were triggered when I found out that not only did classmates go into the finance sector after finding out that I passed the Series 7, but I'm being shown that white privilege still dominates and will fuck up everything.  By the way, I was the only one who worked hard enough to pass the exam, they didn't.

The Asians I got to work with drove themselves hard, as the only Asians I saw in the field were serious overachievers.  I'm talking about 98% on the Series 7, (others have a level 3 chartered CFA), CPAs, Masters in Accounting.  This is totally different animal than the peers of white privilege that I went to high school with.

One is a girl who went to school for teaching.  She's not the sharpest tool in the shed, she is pretty and popular though.  She's one of the nicer ones in a racist state.  Somehow shes' in management at Deloitte when I know Indian AMERICANS with high creds in accounting who were laid off from there.

Two brothers we know from high school, one was able to use his connections to build books.  His not-so-high-achieving brother got a job at UBS.   I can't get UBS to look at my resume.
My sister dated him, she would've treated me like the enemy even though I am more qualified for his job.  The only Asian I know who worked there (outside of the CFAs) had a series 7, multilingual overachiever.

The only Asian in management at the low level trading firm I worked at scored a 98% on her Series 7.  I passed that exam before my "people skills" sniveling b* boy boss from misogynist military did.

Last brief comparison.

One Asian girl I know scored a fantastic job out of college with a Masters in Software Engineering and a 4.3 GPA.  She didn't once complain about physics or calculus.  She complained about RACISM.

White kid with the same opportunity- average student in a frat at UofM with connections to 6 figure SVP job at NBC.

Nepotism rules.

Kaleidoscopes, haunted house mirrors, illusions and then reality sets in. It was never good, It's never going to work out. It wasn't meant to work out.

The U.S. is a living nightmare.  EVERYTHING is entirely fucked way up and it's-REAL!  It's not just the fact that I live in California.  People are expected to knife each other to stay afloat?

My life is already horrible.  I'm not a preferred minority, my violent family has only bore me to beat me- I was not able to get a decent wage job AND I've been sick!  With not even mercy from my ugly horrible violent self loathing backstabbing family.

As a kid, I remember walking into the room where my parents were watching a VHS movie similar to "Mommy Dearest" and my dad was sitting up self-righteously saying how he liked to watch the young girl get beaten down because she's a spoilt bitch.  This is the prejudice he held against me.

Speaking of which, I made a grave mistake and conversed with him that certain proteins pushed up my LDL.  So being that I'm at his mercy until I find a real wage paying job, he bought me protein Luna bars.  That's the only change in my diet, of course my cholesterol and weight were both back up when I was checked over a week ago.

Moving out is only going to pose the same amount of violence that my family imposed on me?  In the dangerous hood that I lose my badly needed money during racist discriminatory stagflation circa 2015.
Why do white people insist that I'm a violent thug only because I'm a minority?  I'm ashamed that the Koreans bought into it, my stupid parents are bad enough.

I HATE VIOLENCE!!!!! 
MOST VIOLENCE IS FOR INEPT STUPID LOSERS ANYWAYS- NOT SELF DEFENSE THAT i WAS NEVER ENTITLED TO.

It wears you thin.   You get so sick of looking at crackheads, methheads, racists, junkie, the preventably morbidly obese, cheap heavy eyeliner, slutty gross clothing on gross people with ugly nasty tattoos, bullies, thugs and ill people.  This isn't caused by a lack of money, although a lack of money can aggravate it.  People are stupid enough to hate themselves which is why they let this happen to them.

After my nasty wretched violent rabid excuse for a mother physically attacked me on my birthday, I was inundated with flaming about Mothers' Day on Facebook?  And everywhere I turn around.  It was worse than the worst acid trips you can get.

I was just blocked from Facebook for expressing my true feelings about Asian elders.

No.  My mother physically attacked me on my birthday when I told her it wasn't worth it.
And it's not.

My dad said that I'm not wanted.  I had to move back after a 3 day temp assignment that was supposed to go on for 2 months-and I have nothing lined up.  That temp job was through Direct Relief International. They "help" aka. exploit other countries including Mexico?  But fuck over people in the U.S. when we're in a position of need.  data.bls.gov/timeseries/LNS15000000

Now he's avoiding me and going out of his way to show that I'm not welcomed or wanted.
Let's see, he's the sycophant and the people he sucks up to get their kids jobs.  I'm serious.  He only tried to throw me away.  No he doesn't do drugs.  His mom was a real nasty lady, and he picked up that nerve to act like a witch.

Society has to stop treating people as if family is the only way to get by.
I wasn't the only one who was abused by family-there are worse cases.  And of course, the parents all did drugs.

The government gives tax dollars to people and does not protect them?

Of course, 58 pound son the druggie mom burned stole his social security checks.
http://nypost.com/2015/05/13/mom-accused-of-burning-58-pound-adult-son-also-stole-his-checks-police/?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPFacebook&utm_medium=SocialFlow

In this case, my dad would've said, "he's an adult and he should fend for himself.  Go join the military".

Here's another...from Daddy's hometown.
40 pound woman Cerebral palsy again.  And guess what.  The caretaker mom does drugs.  I'm sure the caretaker used the social security money to get the drugs.  And the stupid psycho cops deny this is a homicide of course.
http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2015/may/07/body-suitcase-lakeside-homicide-macbeth/